So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
