she looked like the before picture.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize