bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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