Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
we should paint friendship bongs
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