whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize