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I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
