hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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