Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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