And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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