Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
