I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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