thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
