He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He shit in the fireplace
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
