My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
