I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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