Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.