While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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