We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
