so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
