i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
