I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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