yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
