a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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