I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
3pm strippers are depressing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
