They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is wine microwaveable?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
