i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
