question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
