Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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