I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
