What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize