Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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