So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
