By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
