Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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