i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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