so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
