dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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