i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
