I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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