then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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