i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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