I want to walk on stilts...naked
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
