Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We talked him into tasing himself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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