what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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