i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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