White coat. Heels.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
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I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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