I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
