yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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