my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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