Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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