I cockslap morals
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
