From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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