The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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