He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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