i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
