i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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