I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
