he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
