you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
