ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

  Fav 30 1205 4849

  share tweet
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.

  Fav 4 956 2267

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

  Fav 8 5666 1250

  share tweet
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

  Fav 3 3449 1280

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

  Fav 2 2399 1117

  share tweet
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

  Fav 6 1932 876

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  this is the second day in a row.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.

  Fav 6 2389 1106

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

  Fav 2 749 1900

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Not yet.

  Fav 3 1386 750

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

  Fav 8 1933 823

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.

  Fav 1 994 553

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card

  Fav 0 897 540

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I wish to strangle

  (310): View more from California

  whoa there darth vader

  Fav 0 1061 643

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear

  Fav 4 426 740

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack

  Fav 2 158 81

  share tweet
  

Randomize