she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need a hoe opinion