i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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