Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took my morning after pill in the library

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(740): View more from Ohio

So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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(440): View more from Ohio

i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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(907): View more from Alaska

good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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(540): View more from Virginia

By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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