I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack