i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
