I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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