Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So many bounce houses so little time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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