Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
