Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
