Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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