I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am mentally ready for anal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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